Thursday, October 15, 2009

Value Essay draft

Sean Rondeau

10.13.2009

C block

Value Essay

What is value? It is perhaps more complex than most people think. Value can be measured in many ways. Is it monetary worth, material worth, or significance to oneself? It all depends on the person. In today’s society of expensive cars, clothes, and electronics, people tend to forget about the priceless moments that they have each day. People often take these moments for granted, but in reality everyone needs moments like their morning coffee or family parties. In my opinion, the most valuable things in life are the priceless memories or “Kodak moments.”

I wake up to the sound of my alarm clock at 3 am (did I even sleep that night?). Enthusiastically, I force myself up out of bed. My family and I are going to Rosemary Beach, Florida! This is our fifth trip to this beautiful paradise and each time it feels like the first. After a quick plane ride, we arrived at our destination. As we arrive, there is nothing but clear skies and amazing weather that follows us. The town is a rather small, filled with relaxed people in a carefree type of lifestyle. I could tell these people didn’t mind to watch the sunset, smell the roses, or ride bikes all day. Immediately, my parents adapted into this way of life. Both being business owners, they are often under a lot of stress. It is nice to see them so carefree with no schedule to follow.

I look into the horizon of the beautiful sunset and enter the beach. I see a purple, orange sky and a glowing orange sun setting. I also see the purest white sand that squeaks as you walk through it. There were not any shells in the sand. It was flawless, sugar sand. As I peacefully wade in the crystal clear blue water, admiring the nice weather and scenery, there is no feeling that can compare to it. I must also mention the water feels like bath water, almost 80 degrees. Even my sister isn’t afraid to jump in. Our time there is very relaxing and enjoyable. It is the nicest beach I have ever been too. I not only enjoy Rosemary for the beautiful beaches, scenery, and weather, but also for the quality time I get to spend with my carefree family (well at least until they go back to work). These moments are truly priceless to me.

I feel it shiver through my body; my cell phone is vibrating. I place my hand in the crisp pockets of my new jeans. I take out my gray Samsung Alias 2 cell phone to read a text from my friend asking to hang out. It is equipped with a dual keyboard opening two ways with an interchangeable QWERTY keyboard, a 2.0 megapixel camera/camcorder, 16 GB to hold music, and a front screen telling the time. Using E-ink technology, my cell phone is able to switch keys from numeric to alphabetic with a touch of a button. The technology is amazing. This phone is fit for me.

With money saved up, I bought my phone at about two hundred dollars. I think it was worth every penny. My phone is not only valued to me by price, but also for the piece of mind it brings me. My phone is like a friend. It can provide me with a source of comfort knowing that at any time I can call my family or friends. If I am bored, I can use my Alias 2 to text or call my friends to chill. If I am sad, I can call my parents or sister. If I am angry and need to vent, I can talk with another friend. It is always there for me.

The days spent at Rosemary Beach and my phone are both very valuable to me. Even though they are both very different things, they both bring me a sense of comfort. When I think about the moments at Rosemary, I feel elated and it lifts me up if I am having a bad day. My phone also brings me the same feeling knowing that I will always have someone.

7 comments:

  1. 1.) What is the author saying about what is valuable? What the author is saying about what is truly valuable is the precious moments in our lives. Sean says that what he values the most is the priceless moments or "Kodak Moments". I agree with this because this is the times in our lives that we will never forget.

    2.) What of the two objects did I find were most vividly described. What i found was most described is the vacations to Rosemary Beach. I think this because he describes how those vacations feel for not only him but for his whole family. He also explains what it is like there and what he truly values there. For example he says he walks through the sugar sand into the clear blue water as warm as bath water. I think this is very descriptive.

    3.) In general what is this essays overall strengths? The overall strengths of this essay is the great detail. i think the detail in this essay makes it so much more interesting. this makes me want to continue reading. it also holds my interestsal l through and explains what is going on making it easy to follow.

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  2. I think that seanron04 is describing the moments he feels at peace with his family and the freedom his phone gives him. He values the fact that he can be free with the separation in Florida or with the use of his phone to communicate with those he wants to. The Cell Phone is his way to stay a part of the world around him, and yet, separate him from it. Florida gives him the ability to enjoy the world around him.

    The description of Florida was most vivid in this report. This person described every little detail that they feel in Florida. He describes how the whole family is relaxed and worries are small and distant. All the physical details are even described in depth too.

    This essay was very descriptive. The author described every thing in the most ways they could think of. The detail of it kept my interest, and I didn't stop looking at the essay. I think this person really took their time writing this.

    I think this person mastered the essay well. One piece of advice I would give is just to simply watch the run on sentences. There weren't many there, I just believe that they could come up if the author loses track. But all in all, this was a great value essay.

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  3. .... Jon's comment continued

    4.)What specific suggestion would i use to improve this essay? the only thing i would use to improve this is not repeat words so much. for example when sean is talking about why he values his cell phone he says the same reasons a lot. without this the essay could be better but overall great job. i really enjoyed this

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  4. Sean is saying that his cell phone is valuable and he stongly values his trip to Rosemary Beach in Florida with his family. His trip with his family was a priceless moment. The vacation with Sean and his family was most vividly and clearly described. He desribes his vacation with well descriptive words and sentences that makes you think how much he values his family and the trip. Sean's essay's overall strength was his disription of his phone. He puts detail and great word choice when he is talking about the technology of his cell phone and it makes you want to have the cell phone he has. He also has well-written sentences and paragraphs in his essay. A piece of advise for you is that you should use transition words so the reader knows when your changing or switching the topic. Overall great essay and I enjoyed reading it.

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  5. I. Sean seems to be saying that value isn't exactly as simple as everyone thinks it is, but that there's more to it. He thinks that the "Kodak moments" in life are what people actually value most, over objects that can have a price.

    II. I think that Sean describes his family trips to Rosemary Beach in Florida more vividly than his cell phone. I find his vacations more vividly described because he writes about the "flawless sugar sand" and the "crystal clear blue water" and using this detail allows the reader to picture the place that the writer is describing.

    III. One of the essays overall strengths is organization. Sean did a good job at organizing the essay in a way which it flows from subject to subject, without getting off topic. The organization of this essay makes it easier for the reader to read and stay interested in the essay.

    IV. One piece of advice that I would give to Sean to improve his essay it to come up with a creative title. The title should be interesting and pull the reader in. A creative title would improve the essay.

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  6. Sean is saying that the value of something depends on how the person looks towards it. for example, someone could value Christmas dinners more than a $50,000 car if they cherish having christmas more than cars. To Sean, the most valuable things in life are priceless moments.

    I thought Sean had described his phone more vividly than Rosemary Beach."It is equipped with a dual keyboard opening two ways with an interchangeable QWERTY keyboard, a 2.0 megapixel camera/camcorder, 16 GB to hold music, and a front screen telling the time." I thought Sean had described this very thoroughly and it gave me a sens eof what his phone could do and what it meant to him.

    One of the essay's overall strengths was its organization. I like how you organized it into the introduction, 2 paragraphs on the beach, 2 paragraphs on the phone, and then the conclusion. It was easy to understand and it was a fluent read.

    For future references, consider explaining your reasoning. For example you said you were going to Florida for the fifth time but it felt like the first time. Why is that? It left me wanting to know why.

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  7. I. Sean is saying that value is not always based on money, it is the priceless moments that we live everyday. He explains this very well by saying he values the "Kodak Moments" in life, which are the memorable priceless moments that we will often never forget. I agree with Sean's opinion. Sean did a good job on telling the reader what he thought was truely valuable.

    II. Sean's description of Rosemary beach was really vivid. He used a lot of discriptive words, and got a really good image of the beach in his head. "I look into the horizon of the beautiful sunset and enter the beach. I see a purple, orange sky and a glowing orange sun setting. I also see the purest white sand that squeaks as you walk through it." Sean had a lot of description of what he see's, but he also touches the sense of hearing saying how the sand squeaks when you walk through it.

    II. The two main strengths of the essay were the introdution and his description. His introduction was very intriguing and showed his beliefs about value very well. His description of his two valued object/priceless was also very good. He explained the facts about his phone very well which showed why he valued it, and the beauty that he valued at Rosemary Beach.

    IV. I think that the ending of the essay could be a little more descriptive. I feel that the conclusion wasn't as strong as the introduction. Also, a creative title would also add to the essay, because it would create more interest for the reader.

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